Continental Europe hosts a wide variety of mammals; however, many are close to extinction and many more are held in captivity, with no roaming capabilities whatsoever. One mammal that has always seen a large roaming area, though, and continues to prosper in the mild European environment, is the Euro-Backpacker.

Euro-backpackers have several distinguishing features, and during my sojourn in the European wilderness I was granted the opportunity to witness these majestic creatures in their natural habitat, going about their daily activities. A typical Euro-backpacker day, if we are to believe the evidence presented by these specimens, is one of generous hours of sleeping, eating, and the occasional few hours of wandering around a new city.










Despite the apparent lack of defensive instincts and skills inherent in the Euro-backpacker, they are well equipped to deal with the often harsh climates that can occur in Continental Europe. I had chosen to meet these two specimens in one of the continent's most difficult locales, Switzerland; many Euro-backpackers have met their financial demise whilst travelling through Switzerland, and indeed it did threaten their own relaxed approach to restaurant meals and hotels and movies with a much more stringent approach to their daily routine. I, also, was not immune to these environmental difficulties; Credit Card Sickness forced me to pull out of the field a day early, and I have been recovering from the blow over the past few weeks.

The first day was spent amongst the urban environs of Zurich; a wonderfully small yet exceedingly expensive town, Zurich holds perhaps a day's worth of sightseeing, as well as plenty of wonderful central-European scenery. Desensitized at this point by over a month of travelling throughout Europe, they were only mildly impressed by the churches, sidewalks, and old buildings of Europe which are a contrast to a location which they refer to as 'back home', which apparently is a sort of hibernational area that they return to after their roaming.

They had chosen a place in downtown Zurich to stay, called the 'Zic-Zac Rock Hotel', amazingly called because each room is a theme room, at least in theory; this is, at least, the excuse that the hotel uses to charge the prices that it does, which in fact are generally cheap considering it is Zurich, however not cheap considering the average wage of most humans on this planet. They had prudently chosen the "Deep Purple Room", so called because it boasted posters of Frank Zappa, Ricky Lee Jones, and Robert Plant - all people who had never been in Deep Purple; thus the name of the room.

Upon being invited into their lair I noticed the stench immediately; I insisted for them to open the window. It also struck me at how much.... "stuff" they had with them, sprawled across the floor, in no real order to my untrained eye. The two of them had acted upon the room as a storm would act upon the Carribbean, terrorizing it and making sure that only a scant few patches of the floor were visible.








I insisted that we wander around Zurich some more; yes, a European city. Nice restaurants, expensive everything, clean streets, designer boutiques. A nice lake, with some benches, and assumably a decent place to relax as you ponder your next move in offshore banking, bullion exchange, art theft, or simply researching where to relocate your business so that it does not coincide with any international extradition treaties or tax repatriation agreements. for the financier, it is a decent playground, but for the rest of us, there are far better cities in Europe to enjoy. I sensed that the two mammals were not at all impressed upon my suggestion that perhaps we could spend a few days in Switzerland. I sense, that if it were not for my insistence to see them go about their activities in the financially difficult climate of Switzerland, that they would have fled to more mild continental climates.


Food usually consists of what is called a "donair", or a "falafel". They enjoy the fatty, greasy taste, and are usually cheap across the European continent - usually, that is, with the noteable exception of Switzerland where a Falafel will cost you about as much as a two-course meal in Hungary. Their spirits were good, though, and the high prices were more a source of humour than concern.

The mammals have decided, with some input from myself, to head east tomorrow to the Swiss town of Sargans - the exit point to Liechtenstein. We will endeavour to spend the day in the sprawling empire of Liechtenstein, and with luck I will see the navigational skills of these mammals in action - assumably highly developed navigational skills given their large scavenging area. They will not be taking what they call their 'full pack' on this excursion; rather they will take what is called a 'day pack', which is a detachable part of their larger Euro-backpack. "Full Pack" is a term I would hear used often, mostly when boasting - especially of walking. Walking "full pack" is something to be either admired or cringed at, given their bulky weight and size. My suggestions to them of simply purchasing a suitcase with wheels fell on deaf ears, I fear - even though, to my mind, a suitcase with a fine pair of wheels would be a wonderful way to travel - you could ride it down hills, and generally use it as a skateboard of sorts.










To Sargans, and Liechtenstein



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